So I got hit on by a gay guy. It might have something to do with the fact that I licked his nose.
And why did you do that?
Tequila
You're a big dope. Life is about fighting for what you want, not accepting what you hate.
Why does tequilla always make you text me?
it was like eating out sand paper
Just did lines off a tackle box. Love Montana.
is it sad that I can recall my outfits by who took them off?
We found her naked passed out on the bathroom floor. She didn't even make it to the shower. She was clutching the bathroom rug.
She told me to act like the hulk during sex. Shit got 9 different shades of weird
Its not that hard, just find a girl reading 50 shades of grey and point her my way
I'll be there in spirit. Right there in your vagina.
Do you rver get that feeling like their are poprocks filling ur boday?
Also the girl beside me smells like she's been in a deep fryer.
Not gonna lie: had to look up how to spell fellatio. Not sure I spelled it right even now. Looks like a Shakespearean character. ENTER FELLATIO, SOLILOQUIZING.
And then you poured the rest of the vodka into salsa and added the alcohol soaked pineapples and grapes and said "don't touch my salsa breakfast".
Pretty sure I have a sex related back injury. I'm not sure if I should be proud or ashamed.
5 am booty call not ok. The fact I actually went over definitely not ok. My vag needs to learn some control.
Randomize
