Stop bringing these fucking whores home with you. If I have to fight over the remote with a bleach blonde idiot wanting to watch the hills reruns one more time I'm pissing in your shampoo.
he thinks im joking when i say don't visit. i mean it's summer...he was the college fuck and now it's time for the summer fuck
Somebodaw call 311 postw fire bunso on vietena floorwnkd
One minute we were getting noise complainted by the security guards the next I was shotgunning a beer with them
Lightning struck the tree right outside of her window as I came inside her. I think its God's way of saying go by plan b.
Those mornings you wake up with a Barbie tramp stamp are the mornings that are the that are going to make me miss this place
Every man needs a table where they can sit and reflect on the successful penile conquests of the day.
I was wearing my get used bookstore shirt when we fucked. Ironic yet appropriate.
Can we pretty pretty please go to Mardi Gras tomorrow? I promise I'll be a good girl and not puke in a pledges car
Whoever labeled dysfunctional a bad thing obviously never saw this frinedship coming.
I mean technically the bite was both in my nose and on the outside of it. I thought I was going to need stitches or something.
Why was his mouth around your nose anyways?
It was just one of those nights, man.
Just bc you put "its cute" at the end of it doesn't change the fact that u have called me a vag twice this morning and its only 10:03
I ate breakfast with him. And by ate breakfast I mean we fucked on the kitchen table.
We both shit in the same closet in Santa Fe. Nothing is sacred anymore.
I am in the parking lot of CVS in Auburn. I think a truck full of Plan B and regret just arrived.
Randomize
