We drank from noon till 5 am, there was adderall and nice jews involved it was just crazy
you didnt say anything until i brought it up today. i guess i misjudged your maturity.
I guess I misjudged your gender.
I think I'm going to start texting all the people that don't want to talk to me
Ok, so for future reference, in Rome, "piano bar" means "brothel".
do you think the bartender judged us for asking for shots of well vodka and water chasers?
It really ruins the moment when you have to ask to resend the nude pics.
The bruises are from paintball. The money is from me being awesome
In the pictures there's a flower in my hair and also a lobster, I need those things explained
There's a website where you can order a pile of horse shit to be dropped on a persons doorstep. So that's another option.
He's a loser but she says we just don't see the good stuff about him. It's like she's dating the Charlie Brown Christmas Tree.
Why are we so great
Like I'm def going to a therapist but I wouldn't change a thing about us except maybe the peeing
I was struggling morally, but once I let go, I came pretty hard.
besides the unzipped fly, the black eye and the toilet paper on your shoe you looked really sexy today baby!
By the way, you totally deserve "i got a job sex".
So how often do you needs to see my tits today then?
Randomize
