i love insurance, just had an iv with 4 bags of fluid, 2 shots of finagrin and a 2 hour nap . woke up without a hangover. all for $20
shes in my pool wearing only floaties on her arms ill have to raincheck watching march madness with you guys sorry
so i don't know how many beers it takes to make a recliner look like a toilet, but that's how many i had.
found inexpensive tickets to Norway. Questioning if its legal. PLEASE tell me you remebered the walkie talkies and face paint.
why are our drunk alter egos so much more successful than us?
If you set your screensaver to be a slides show, make sure you remove dick pics first. This lesson 1 of living with your great aunt
I mean I puked all over three separate towns last night and I still think you're the one who should reevaluate their life.
DIBS ON THE NEW GUY.
NO. NO FUCKING YOUR COWORKERS
Just sitting in the tub googling "how to remove sharpie from skin". You?
Hypothetically speaking - is it bad if you get cut off at an airport bar at 11:30am?
Do you know how fucking great a bath bomb is when you're high?
Is kiddo a correct name to call someone who you stuck your dick in?
Dude how much would someone have to pay you to get you to slide your vagina across a bald man's head because Honestly I'd do it for the experience alone. but money would be nice too\n\nI'm thinkin like 500 bucks. Maybe 700
Why are you like this.
It was ok until his mom walked in and asked if he turned on the crock-pot...
HE LIVES IN ANOTHER STATE
actually scratch that last text, he's the perfect boyfriend. He stays faithful and doesnt find out about all the guys here. it's a win-win
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