A little boy walked by his parents room one night, looked through the keyhole, and said "and that bitch tells me to stop sucking my thumb!"
How was Slumdog? Did it pull your heartstrings?
It was entertaining. Better than most other Mexican films.
Can I crash on your couch? I just came home to find my wife giving two guys blowjobs.
Two?
Two.
I hope to God it wasnt poon. That odor was unnatural, it was satanic pussy.
elementary school lunch room party. everyone brings their own lunch and can trade stuff. all juice is booze.
vodka and carrot juice, if im gonna drink i at least got my 8 servings of vegetable
my grandma just told me that size does matter, and don't let anyone tell you anything different.
I dont know whats worse: her telling me she was so drunk i was "almost sexy," the fact that even when theyre shitfaced, im just "almost sexy" to girls, or the fact that i wasnt that offended by it.
The bartender laughed but the manager kicked me out when the mom conplained. There's no way my fart harmed that baby in any way
i got to hold a baby today and i loved it and i want a baby but actually i'm going to make an appointment to get birth control now.
A baby just tried to pull out his mom's huge tits at work today and nearly succeeded. I was silently cheering for the little guy.
It hurts to hear and I can smell shapes.
He radiates elegant sexual dominance. I bet even his balls have pinstripes.
Dude on a beach in sicily and a blonde jesus just smoked us out and then tried to makeout with me I am never leaving this place
I'd invite you over to drink but then I wouldn't be drinking by myself.
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