my head feels like I tried to put alcohol out of business last night
i just sent this text using only my big toe
Come see our sink grown plant.
Giving the kids Children's Claritin and calling it candy.....Is it setting them up for drug abuse later?
All I remember is yelling RUN as fireworks started going off in the kitchen. Who said that was a bad idea?
i'm not accepting baked goods from anyone for awhile. especially after the stalker pie.
FYI I'm about to upload a vid of you to facebook of you screaming "SNACK ATTACK" and throwing cheetos at everyone playing pong...
She went dumpster diving. Found flourescent light bulbs, carpet samples and $15. We got a bottle of Popov, played star wars and threatened random people with the carpet. Get on our level.
Pissed along side the highway while waving at all the traffic... if thats not a sign of a productive night to come then idk what is
Hey, you gotta think, is this REALLY the penis you wanna see for the rest of your life? THINK!
Is it tacky to frame a negative pregnancy test?
Is a coke binge Whole30 approved?
your fucking longboard fell on me while we were having sex you fucking hipster
Although, she is an extremely cool person. She put the "buddy" in "fuck buddy." And I mean that in the most respectful way possible.
New drinking game get out your high school year book and take a shot for everyone in your class who's had a baby!
Randomize
