Ambien. No doubt about it.
if he's not good at sex i should be allowed to have sex with someone who is. that's a totally legit statement i think
Same, I didn't even get to be tarzan this summer
you threw up in someones recycling bin and left a note apologizing. how drunk do you think you were?!
he asked me to put his condom on because he couldn't see without his glasses
im bored tell me something entertaining
You got period blood on my carpet. I lied to my mom and said it was jam.
So... on the count of three, we are going to forget last night ever happened... 1...2...3
come find me. Outside the bar we were just in waving my syringe in the air
when the song champagne showers came on you poured some kids beer over his head... while giving him a lap dance
I think it's god's punishment for my behavior in Vegas . Lies were told. Angels were defiled. Pools were pissed in
You kept asking her which dick pills worked the best. She's a grandmother.
I was wearing my get used bookstore shirt when we fucked. Ironic yet appropriate.
I'm just saying, I walked in on you blowing a burrito. I now understand how obsessed you are with Taco Bell. And how long it's been since you've got some.
There was puke outside of my classroom and lecture was half empty. Damn thirsty thursday is intense
We have ur drink. Mom passed out in the bathroom. I'm goin to the other bathroom. Bs at the top of the stairs on way outside.
Randomize
