Did you go home with that guy without me?
Sorry boo - it's pouring and I found a boy with a car
i wouldnt be suprised if in indian your name meant "walking lie"
If a girl is wearing Ed Hardy from head to toe, does that make her a douchebagette?
Di me a solid and hit me with your car.
it really sends the message that i like to impregnate mortal women and have them birth fantastic half man-half god infants.
only my mom would pack illegal paraphernalia in a care package..
I'm trying to decide if I want to bring home my 'beer champion' trophy or my chem books.
I want Paula Dean to narrate shark week next year
I'm treating myself to a " uve slept with yet another mr. Wrong" breakfast
Fuck a-yeah! I just found a wine key. Let 'Don't Fuck With Me Friday' commence.
SITTING NEXT TO A CIRCUS PERFORMER AT PLANNED PARENTHOOD. THIS IS MY LIFE.
Isn't it my whole life blown into this perfect spoon shaped piece of melted and artificially colored sand?
Wow.
Why did you fed-x me a peanut butter sandwich?
It seemed like the thing to do. There's popcorn on it too.
STOP smoking sooo much weed. Damn
He better be a good lay, these underwear cost $50.
Heyyyy, naked guy in your kitchen, can i ask you a quick question about a legal situation in pb??
Randomize
