How many nights a week you wake up with sticky boxers cause you were dreaming of Clay Aiken? Your wife mad?
Boobs. All I remember is boobs.
i have it on good authority that she is not as good at giving head as she claims she is
When he came he sounded like a flock of birds hitting puberty
just masturbated through my pocket at the library. hope you're enjoying your saturday night out.
would it be subtle enough if I played birthday sex on repeat while I may or may not be stripping?
and everything will be beautiful and nothing will hurt and we will eat nachos
why the fuck are my pubes caked with bread crumbs?
Well im sitting on a futon on a porch at 1:30 in the afternoon drinking boxed wine out of a pint glass next to a chick with a homemade neckbrace. What do you think?
May or may not have been going down the road shooting fireworks.
He's the conductor of the struggle bus
I RODE THAT FINE PIECE OF STRUGGLE BUS
The compounded multi day delayed hangover hit me hard today, with a vengeance normally reserved for large objects that go in my ass. I don't feel good.
She was a little thick, but we banged on the beach and fireworks went off as we finished so I think God wanted it
I wish I could say this wasn't the first time I shit myself in a Piggly Wiggly.
so, i take that as a legit invitation into his pants
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