we did it on the carpet and she just yells out "OH. MY PSORIASIS".
CONFIRMATION: i wiki searched it and Justin Bieber is 15 not 13. so i dont feel like as much of a pedofile now....
youre talking to a girl on facebook chat right now and im sitting behind her in class lol. creepy?
im using old socks as coasters. im going to make a great housewife.
She had a group on her phone called "great fucks". I was in it. It's almost like making the forbes list
5 am is for sleeping. Or getting railed on by a stranger. But never for fundraising. Get real.
Oddly enough when I decided to stop whoreing myself out... I lost most of my companionship.
There is tupperware vodka. thats right tupperwares full of vodka. best leftovers ever
After a couple hours you decided you were going to walk home but ten minutes later you called and said you'd puked by the side of the road and you needed us to drive you to the art museum.
I'm at an awkward stage of not being able to tell if I wanna keep having fun or if I need to die in bed
It's been awhile, you pregnant yet?
I just made my mom buy me lube. I've reached a new level of broke.
My lease is up and I've been thinking, it's only fair that the guys I've fucked in this apartment in the past year help me move. They enjoyed the bed, now help me move it.
The highlight of my night will be digging in other people's garbage
Thanks for wearing matching bob ross shirts to the bar with me and referring to every guy as a happy little accident
Randomize
