in the 'for' section of the check i put "when we got drunk and broke things". again im sorry.
The worst part of it is that he's not the first man I've fucked with 2+ chihuahua's.
I know i should have focused more on what you were saying in the text rather than the fact you spelt "suicidal" wrong
I'm sorry I kept calling last night when you wouldn't pick up. I'm REALLY sorry I sang "You Oughta Know" on more than 4 voice mails.
it was really awkward..i thought he had two dicks, but later realized it was jsut his roommate
You know, I never expected to find myself with a roommate who I'd have to ask not to have sex while I'm in the room. And yet, here we are.
and the award for most disgusting thing ever done on my couch now officially goes to you! Congratulations, you won the couch...I can't even look at it anymore.
I'm playing a game where i judge myself by whats in my cart. Also have 3 bright red giant buckets
You will not judge me for my made-up holiday of wine appreciation day
So I bring Danny back to the apartment for the first time and my roommate is curled up in the beanbag in the middle of the floor, wearing nothing but her uggs, high out of her mind and watching Harry potter... She offered us kettle corn.
He asked if he could come over tomorrow....
I lied. Can't workout today. Only exercises I'm currently capable of doing are breathing ones to keep last night's drinks ending up all over the classroom.
Kyle found me outside his apartment in the hallway. Said he didn't hear me knock bt smelled alcohol through the door. I'm sucha bitch to my liver
Him naked in my bed with a bottle of vodka in one hand, a pipe in the other, and a rose in his mouth.
You almost got us killed.
YOU’RE WELCOME FOR NAVIGATING YOU TO A ONCE IN A LIFETIME EXPERIENCE.
You kept sayin "its alright, I'm pre-med" to everything we said. EVERYTHING.
Randomize
