I don't know if it was the room or her, but as soon as the pants came off, it smelt like a locker room and old man farts.
smelt my brothers hands when he got home to see if he lied about smoking again...he didn't lie but i definitely didn't expect to smell some other girls vagina.
and then he proceeded to take what he called, a whip cream shower.
Walking down the street trying to find the pants I had on last night
She kept telling the ambulance to sit down and then started crying when we told her it couldn't hear her
Delivery driver perk #327: I just paid for part of the security deposit on my new place in pizza. This oughta be a fun renting experience.
Some kid just stopped wherever he was walking, turned to me, and gave me a slow clap. So I'm pretty sure my walk of shame beats yours.
Hey super random I have you in my phone as "downtown likes to go fishing girl" haha does that sound like you
BUT YOU MUST FINISH YOUR QUEST
TO FIND THE HOLY GRAIL
AND GET DRUNK OFF YOUR ASS BY DRINKING OUT OF IT
he pushed me in the lake knowing full well I had joints on me. that's drug-abuse!!
There is absolutely a 0% chance my hips will make it out of this twerking business fully functional
I think it was a smart move. Quickest way to get over a guy, hook up with his friends.
We had a moment of silence for all of the orgasms he gave me with his beard before he shaved it off.
I miss you.
Yeah, I don't want to have sex.
She did what?
Who. The correct term is she did who.
Did you see him? The correct term is definitely what.
Randomize
