That girl's pussy is like White Castles, you crave it once in awhile, but you know next morning you regret eating it.
I don't apprectiate you insinuating that my breasts have a sort of bremuda triangle effect
Your noise violation report contains the word "five-some"...wtf happened in here?
It was a new level of awkwardness and terror. The high schoolers you fuck in the summer should never introduce themselves to your mom and godmother
i woke up and saw you were brushing his hair naked. I can never pass out around you, man.
Babies are disgusting. I held one once. Then I washed my hands and rinsed my mouth out with wine.
His lack of social graces and moral fiber complements mine nicely.
according to the video, you won you first drunken karaoke contest based off of your actual singing abilities and not because you took your shirt! I've never been prouder :)
btw I told him that the only way he was gonna get to eat you out was if he smothered your vag with grits..
How do I respond to this?! It's not easy to say "you're hot & the sex was good, but outside the bedroom you scare me"
Sangria Sundays can't keep happening. Even my second grade students know I'm hungover. Benji even gave me his oreos its that bad
I have the most nasty and explicit wet dreams of my boss that I'm embarrassed to look him in the face. I'd be pregnant or promoted if he only knew
Could someone explain to me why there were 40 individually wrapped burritos in the fridge when I woke up this morning?
we are not getting arrested this weekend. I don't care who I have to blow its just not happening.
Ok so I need a recap of last night...
YOU SPENT SIX DOLLARS AT NICKEL BEER NIGHT!!! How's that
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