I just ate an adderall and jelly sandwich in front of my mom. Homework time!
do guys with small dicks even attempt to pursue romantic relationships?
I already apologized. And I got cum in my eye in return, I say your night beats mine...
literally. a puddle of blood. on the floor. still searching for the source
the guy in the stall next to me, came in, farted, laughed, and proceeded to give himself some sort of hillbilly pep talk that included the phrase "big pussy".
I'm really debating making a second facebook. Same name only with DRUNK at the end. That way I can keep the guys I only talk to when I'm drunk on that facebook and only go on it when im drunk.
No, we talked about it. They're cool with me living here as long as I sleep with them both.
You're a rent hooker.
Dude it started out with let's find some food and ended up with me getting a needle in the face
Annabeth just got on the bar and slurred something about how she was worried that when she started dating you your penis wouldnt fit. You are one lucky bastard my friend.
You keep saying things....but all I'm hearing is kegs
Every grown women needs to pee herself once in her life. It builds character.
You need to fuck him. The man has his own Wikipedia.
This is stupid. I am not getting knocked up from fucking in his backseat behind a starbucks. I refuse.
I'll like his pictures on Instagram every once and a while so that when he sees my name he is reminded of the best blow job he's ever gotten.
My adderall dealer raised his prices due to "impending inflation" ... never buying from a college grad again
Randomize
