what kind of vibe do I give off that a guy i've never hung out with thinks its okay to send me a picture of his ball cleavage?
Cleveland boys shit in their own pumpkins in their own living room. Got pictures to prove it.
i just hugged the lady at the liquor store goodbye for the summer...
Great. I get laid, Leslie Nielsen dies. I can't have have sex anymore, the film community can't take another loss like this.
We sold so many girl scout cookies when we were little. What went wrong?
I don't know which is a more impressive stolen object. The couch from a sheer logistical viewpoint, or the parking meter because i'm pretty sure that's a federal offence.
When I said 'i love my boyfriend' I didn't mean 'send me a picture of your penis'.
I thought my period ended but I felt it again as soon as Pitbull started playing
There's always a silver lining when massive voluptuous tits are involved
His dad and I had a drunk conversation about life. At 4 am he told me that I was 21 and cute and should fuck whoever I want.
The notary thing was a good idea. I can charge $2 per signature. I'm currently being paid in beer.
What did the sign say that bob stapled to his ass?
I'm using emojis for drug deals now. It's time to kill me.
so my dads pretending to use the snow blower and theres absolutley no snow one the ground.... someone should really lock our liqour cabinet
So I took my bra off and threw it in the bushes before we went to the bars..
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