True but thats because hes a fetus.
if pee wee herman would have taken a snuggie to the movies he wouldnt have gotten caught
you know you've made it when it's your own pool table you're waking up on
I can't. I can't get out. He cooked me food. And made me jager bombs. And painted a glow in the dark smilie face on my boobs
allie, at least he made an effort and braided his goatee.
It's stupid hot. I just want to be laying in a bathtub full of margaritas
Well, let's see..I held him while he cried for 30-40 minutes, woke up on his couch AND he gave me a ride home in his underwear. Shit show is not even the half of it.
So apparently I ended up throwing my clothes in the toilet after getting kicked out of TQ and ran around the neighborhood in my boxers. Works gonna suck hard once this hangover kicks in. Also: I lost a shoe so looks like flipflops for the rest of winter
I hooked up with a lesbian tonite. Top 2 valentines experiences of all time.
then he grabbed my tit and yelled "FOR NARNIA!!" then dove into my vag. i think I will do him again strictly for the entertainment value
Dude, fate has brought her to your penis.
I pour the whiskey from now on
Bruh why you gotta judge
You're awake at 3:30 in the morning RSVPing to a musical, I'm well within my means
Next time we do shrooms i am finding an open field at sunrise and running through it and nobody is stopping me this time!
Yes. I had to slow down my handjob so he would last...-and I give shitty handjobs to begin with
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