She's JV to your varsity
i think my tv is drunk
I just found your credit card inside the bag of chips
She passed out on top of the bar. Still did body shots off her.
Hey. Can you be so hung over that you get a rash?
I walked in and saw him spread eagle on the couch beatin it, while he just pet the dog that sat there and stared. mom was pissed
My only regret is that we didn't pee on our neighbors Prius
I've officially done it all, fucked a girl wearing a twister board. ABC parties are amazing!
Do u like your dick pics shot in hotdog or hamburger orientation?
OMG BTW REMEMBER HOW HE ORDERED PIZZA THAT ONE TIME WE HOOKED UP. APPARENTLY HE WAS HANDING IT OUT TO PEOPLE WHO LIVE IN MY BUILDING AS HE WAS LEAVING
I think I just wanna go buy some jack at the liquor store, come home, take my pants off, and not give a shit about stuff
You don't marry someone you don't want to fuck senseless this is 2014 dammit
Have you ever been so drunk you pass out in the cab and everyone goes inside and forgets about you? I have
I still judge her for aggressively trying to get coke from my date but pretty cool that she's a black belt
he said "i'm the cat whisperer, watch". he took a hit from the pipe, grabbed the cat and blew the smoke in its ear. he grinned and the cat started purring. it was magnificent
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