I felt weird they were both staring at me waiting for the scoop on how your vagina felt.
It's sore actually
Yeah not really sure what I said but I remember "douchebag" and "fuck your own face"
To a 70 year old lady?!
He keeps whispering to me that he can't wait to tie my hands up with my wig?
You tried telling the RA that girl you brought home was your mom...
You should make it a point to use vocabulary that is competition appropriate around him, like "champion" and "training" and "victory sex"
Haha keeping the dream alive until Chinese New Year. I'm jobless with stitches in my face.
Did i tell you that he's legal and i got his number? Because he's legal and i got his number. THIS BITCH AIN'T GOING TO JAIL YET
I'm beer bonging chocolate fondue. That's how my Valentines Day is going.
I don't want a mention or even a whisper of a Shakespeare Festival by that or any other name including, but not limited to, a fucking Renaissance Fair. Are we clear? It will be a DEALBREAKER .
We really shouldn't need this many nicknames for the women you've had sex with.
I managed to get through my meeting without throwing up in someone else's office, so there's that for an accomplishment today.
you're welcome to come here, except my beds from ikea so it's more unstable than i am
I could see the visible disappointment when she saw my penis
youll appreciate my drinking habit one day...
I’m inviting a few of my favorite manwhores to a pool party. Bring booze and wear your banana hammock so Amy can see what I’m always talking about
Randomize
