if he's not good at sex i should be allowed to have sex with someone who is. that's a totally legit statement i think
Im drinkin out of a coconut! I think im gonna dip my balls in it!
if we break up, blackout me is coming back, making out with everything in sight
You had me at "you have a nicer rack then her"
Wtf. I just got invited to a threeway bj session in the bathroom at boiler. Lmao
Lmao the neighbor heard yall last night She wanted me to tell you way to finish strong
Im sleeping in your bed. Sorry for the sand and the noise and the loud people. Im starving
Your blankets are not drunk friendly
there is something about beer and popsicles that make the world go round
I figured out why her friends always say g is for god when she leaves with someone. She wears a double g cup bra
His search history includes homemade sex toys and a plunger. I'm scared about what goes on in their place.
At least one of us had a weekend full of money and dick
I wanna send them a card but I don't think hallmark makes a "sorry your fiance and another girl blew me at the same time in a frat house but congrats!" card
It was bitter sweet because I woke him up with sex but then I peed in his bed with him in it
A Morman just tried to recruit me and I told him "Trust me, you don't want me"
Its really awkward pooping while on videochat. Even if you turn the video off.
Randomize
