Would you let Jessica Biel poop in front of you to see her naked...but you have to wipe her too?
Goodbye hot boy in my geo class...goodbye my lover, goodbye my friend. you have been the one, you have been the reason I came to claassss
I think I can smell my own vagina right now
hey quick question, what would you consider to be a "first date" porn?
the tile , carpet , walls , cabinets , even the ceiling ... there is Jello everywhere
it was your idea to have indoor Jello wrestling man
you know who we are? We're the female white stoner version of Kenan and Kel.
maybe volvos are so family friendly and safe because they're extremely uncomfortable to get fucked on.
We should start a Help That Bitch Out Fund and split the donations evenly between you two.
My crowning drunk achievement from that night was donating $5 to the Obama campaign.
You're perfect
Well his ex just grabbed his dick and told him yep Ill call u later
Tell the cops to let you through! Tell them you need to do drugs!
You drunkenly promised dick pics on your way out the door and then never delivered. I don't know how I'll ever be able to trust you again.
Whatever you wanna call it i just wanna get railed tonight
So... my daughter's new girlfriend Is the daughter of the girl I dated on and off in college Who ran away because she got pregnant at my house party. My Legitimate daughter Is probably fucking my Illegitimate daughter...
if I start to respond to these political texts with a middle finger emoji - do you think they will get the hint?
Randomize
