i am sick of getting naked and seeing how fat i am.
YOU CAN MICROWAVE POPTARTS!?!??!
i found your underwear in my bra... i dont even remember how this happened.
shit. all i remember is the look on your moms face.
Its a three day weekend with Valentines day thrown in... Im obligated to get drunk
I need to shower. I still have paint on me from the homeless guys
random question: do you know anywhere in the tri-state that has elephant racing? this is a work related question.
If theres one good thing that came out of our relationship its this chicken recipe. And squirting.
The fact that he just came out makes his Lent commitment to give up gay sex so much more meaningful now.
The molly dropped while I was taking a shit. Do you have any idea how scary that is?
That does not seem like timing
I just asked him what would happen if my boobs fought crime. I think I'm cut off.
Wow. The LSU Tennessee game is on here and the LSU cheerleaders are stupid hot. Its weird having a hard on. At a bar. On a Wednesday. By yourself.
This is gonna be the kind of weekend where if it involves putting on pants, it ain't happening.
Mike fell asleep with his hand down my pants. I'm clearly an enticing person.
Eaten today: granola bar, pumpkin donut, and fritos. Oh, college nutrition.
Dont care about too tired for sex, thank you for leaving your laser pointer. I have now determined both my cats are stupid.
Randomize
