That guy youre talking to looks like Brian from Family Guy.
dont worry about it. i always have emergency bong water with me
You beat him at the shot competition, and proceeded to rub it in while telling everyone to "ASK ME A MATH QUESTION!!!"
he made me feel like a shish kabob. his dick was the skewer.
and you said he wasn't worth calling.
two questions - what stuff of mine was pawned and who has the pawn tickets.
I woke up because a stranger was shoving an already lit bowl into my mouth. Spring break is awesome
mate, my mother watched me threw up out of my nose wearing only a g-string.
Glad to know I rate above a cabbage on the parenting scale.
I've been asked to reupholster their slam-couch so I found some off-cuts of medical-grade, hermetically sealed fabric. She'll be slammed upon for generations to come.
Anyway, all that to say that tiny penises are a hassle.
If my emotions are below a 3 or above a 7, I'm crying
That awkward moment when the guy you were hitting on at the bar last night is a possible suspect in a murder case.
I can't dude. Last time I was there, I blew the bartender in the bathroom at last call.
just took a pregnancy test before I went out drinking. if that's not drinking responsibly Idk what is.
Officially hit an ultimate low today. I was so hung-over I threw up on the ground in front of the jousting display in the London tower. But on a positive note, Brits are very understanding when you vomit on their history.
Randomize
