booty call
i swear to god if you come over i will kick you in the pussy.
he sent me a naked picture of himself. things got awkward really quickly. but on a positive note he shaved his chest
last time i saw her she was begging the broken jukebox to play lady gaga.
whats the proper etiquette for returning a closet door to a random girl you met and do not know her name?
im drinking italian dressing and watching dexter. its 230am. lets never drink on sundays again.
The doctor asked me what height I fell from to hurt my back.. I answered keg height
i just thought that perhaps i was done with the "boning on someone else's futon" stage of my life. guess not.
I'm horny too so maybe we will both recap our regrets on Sunday
I'm just opting for alcohol abuse, ramen and cuddling with my dog for now.
Did I hit my head yesterday? I have a bump on the back of it. Also I just want you to know that I don't blame you for me taking my bikini top off. If I want to be shirtless no man or woman on this earth can stop me.
There's no sexy way to moan the name Ernest. Or Ernie. This relationship is fucked
I just remembered that before we left my house I vowed to stay fully clothed and I FAILED
Going to the pool bar doesn’t exactly count as “exploring”
If you shit your pants and not say anything about it right before we have sex one more time I'm dumping you.
are you comparing glasses to pregnancy
Randomize
