Who do you think planted the wheat? Who do you think cleared the land and killed off the native inhabitants? Women?
So many bounce houses so little time
once you get past the part where you think youre gonna die, its the most amazing drug ive ever experienced.
He's almost as awesome as vicodin.
Can i tell him you said that? Cuz i know that means a lot coming from you
When I get home we should play "let's see how many Christmas movies we can watch before we start having sex."
There's nothing worse than carrying your fairy crown and wings home wearing fishnets
You might be at the point of severe desperation when you gotta hold the two pieces of your broken vibrator together just to get off.
I just masturbated and watched youtube makeup videos, which was just an extension of masturbation.
How do you say "thats kinda illegal" in thai?
I told him I just left the convent and really wanted a man. He fell for it. Sure beats telling him I'm a nympho stalker that followed him to the bar when I saw his beard.
You told everyone to shut up then told the officer that you are 21 when you drink.
Do not tell me I cant do drunk math ever again, AND I made a creative way of telling him I want him to fuck me.
See I am maturing. I just got in from my DRIVE of shame......
THERE ARE NO EMOJIS TO SHOW MY SEXUAL FRUSTRATION
I never knew it was coming. He was cute and nerdy, cute and nerdy, cute and nerdy, and then BAM! Best hookup ever.
Randomize
