speaking of unleashing monsters, we need to get condoms
Those balls look pretty dangerous.
I wonder sometimes what your vagina thinks about you.
we ate a 40 pack of string cheese and watched an entire washing machine cycle.
No. Especially when my uncle started stripping. Too many shots. So that's where I get that from.
She punched my vomit. In midair. Back into my mouth.
I made a tournament bracket for the girls that Im talking with.
I want to play lord of the rings tonight. And by that I mean get really drunk, potentially lost, and go trekking through the woods or climbing shit. I want all of you there. You are the fellowship. This is a mass text. I am insanely high.
it was fucking weird. cops showed up but they appreciated our 3 story bong. and then some girl tried to steal our cheese and butter
Before getting out of the car, she said "Thanks for getting me off." I like how polite she is.
video games take priority over anything else you can offer me.
He's like a sexy bearded lumberjack who likes wine.. I can't lose..
I'm not asking for life coaching, I'm just asking if you know where I left my underpants.
I just woke up butt-naked in bed with a guy I've never seen..I reached into my bag next to the bed to get my phone and found a bag of shrooms, a handle of vodka, and 600 dollars that I've never seen. what do I do
enjoy it.
I’m appalled by how severely I lower my standards when I’m horny & impaired
Randomize
