I took Valium worth by frank. I squabble
Li shadha you vin. It's phot out. I just ate a fried Oreo
I just saw a stripper wear a tube top around her floppy gut. God bless Michigan.
if i hurry i can finally have sex while stoned off my ass
godspeed.
You ran away and I found you three blocks later lying by a dumpster because "that's where your life belongs"
We learned a valuable lesson from last night. You can, in fact, order bacon on a Big Mac.
in case you havent found it already in honor of Toy story 3 we wrote ANDY on the bottom of your foot while you were passed out on the couch.
I always know the weekend is over when the real license comes out and the fake goes back into the hiding spot.
She can't really be mad at me. I made you two sisters... Dick sisters.
I'll be in SoCal at my bachelorette party, aka embracing a fireman covered in KY and chocolate shavings.
well one of us has to be wrong and it's not going to be me
I'm about to take my 7th shot and I have to to go to dinner with my grandma in an half hour. What is my life.
It's the eve of Christ's birthday and I'm sending pictures of my tits
Tolerating him while I'm not drunk is like trying to find a word that rhymes with orange
Don't worry I sent a creepy stalker message to a guy I slept with 6 years ago, Sunday Funday rock bottom
You had blacked out Skype sex? Wow we live in the future
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