By connection do you mean me drunkenly grinding my ass on his lap for an extended period of time? If so, then yes, we had a "connection"
Her vagina turned into a vuvuzela. I didn't know it was a possible to have a wet nightmare.
Just watered mom's plants with leftover mixed drinks full of Bacardi Silver. I'm such a good daughter.
Can we dedicate this weekends marathon sexcapades to all the haters?
Well I found you sipping ron diaz out of a child's dinosaur cup while sticking your fingers in the guy's fish tank and watching the "pirahnas" snap at your finger and laughing
My mom just called me to tell me that i dont have chlamydia. Awkward.
Last thing I remember was wondering why there was a mirror on the wall behind the urinal and then realizing I was pissing in the sink.
We're pretty much just dating until one of our ex's wants us back
I'm still high with raccoon eyeliner eyes and chocolate all over my face and chest, clutching a mug of wine. Happy graduation.
Yeah when I texted her last night the only response I got was "stoned eating cobbler."
HE ASKED IF I HAD SIBLINGS WHEN I ASKED HIM TO LICK MY ASSHOLE
Spending Thanksgiving making a swinging profile brings the day to a whole new level...
Is it weird that sometimes I like to have sex for the health benefits and workout more than the pleasure
I was so high I could TASTE the fillings in my teeth
Woke up to find my underwear in my purse to only remember I took them off at the airport
Randomize
