Just got mistaken for a cardboard cutout ad in line at Taco Bell. New low?
One of my students just said I have "big mommy parts". Even third graders know that my tits are too big. God I love em.
Also, I had a dream I had a ray gun and woke up holding my dick.
put me on a leash or i'm going to fuck someone
did you know the cops in wilco have clean up kits in their cars for when people puke in them? i found this out this morning. i'm finishing paperwork now. come get me plz?
We were destined to go to rehab together
You need to stop thinking about the needs of your vagina and concentrate on the greater good
it's like his dick is making a u-turn.
Have you ever just woke up in the morning and felt pregnant
Wanna know what sucks. Banging the bosses daughter at work and having the boss walk in while you are fucking on his desk. Good day though. Made 6 sales
You were hitting on girls while wearing the banana suit. When they rejected you you yelled "I gotta split anyway."
If he gets me coffee, cold or no I'll make him see Jesus with my mouth.
If its not for food we ain't going out.
she grabed my junk and started making lightsaber noises
I wonder if you could get her in a metal bikini
Yoooooo, the fat magician married the chick I dumped a beer on after I got pissed he was flirting with her in front of me
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