I don't smoke a lot but now and then I do. Weed and I are like still standing naked in a bathroom together deciding if we should blow one another or bolt for the exit. An awkward relationship.
i love when people i haven't talked to since we fucked write on my wall.
I'm high, and her 2,100 tagged pictures annoy me even MORE. I wish it had a google searchbar so I could type in "cleavage pics" to get to the point.
Wow, So this kid just walked into class, yak'd on his lab partner then runs out. Class is now cancelled. I gotta find this kid and Thank him.
Thinking about bringing a vibrator to the tanning bed...kill two birds with one stone right?
I like how washing the beer bong is now a regular part of washing the dishes.
She was doing lines off of her friends boobs in the limo at 9 oclock on a thursday This has the potential to be the best weekend ever
He keeps whispering to me that he can't wait to tie my hands up with my wig?
am i so blindsided by his great personality that i'm hooking up with an ugly guy?
i thought you knew
UPDATE: WE WILL BE HITTING THE BATMAN PINATA WITH A SWORD
All he did was like my Instagram picture and I'm already planning how to turn down sex with him this weekend...
The fact that he quoted freebird as his breakup speech was a little more classy than expected
i took a magical journey through the park for about two hours. it was amazing and everything was fantastical. i have been informed someone babysat me through that shit.
He was so traumatized by the It's a small world ride but he immediately pulled out a flask from god-knows-where and got drunk before the ride was over. The ride operator didn't blame him.
He can move his dick. Like on its own. WHY DID I NOT GIVE BLOWJOBS BEFORE?!
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