I looked at my arm when I woke up..I guess after 8 tally marks I said fuck it and wrote "too much"
Barack Obama mentioned plan B and suddenly this address seems a lot more personal
so you told her it was a 'nam scar? i mean, how old does she think you are.
I have to think about this realistically and not with my vagina.
The amount of alcohol I'm going to consume on my birthday is directly proportional to the amount of shit I've had to put up with this past year. Which is a lot.
I drank all the drinks. And jump off roof. Yay
It is way too early in the summer for me to be coming into work still drunk.
I can't turn my head to the left, I'm pissing out of my ass, and my finger went through the toilet paper today... I need you.
Another development in my life...I think I pulled a muscle in my neck from vomiting this weekend.
I definitely don't have enough experience with hookers to be in this group text anymore.
Slammed 3 beers and just bowled a 129\nI guess alcohol IS the answer
I love you as a roommate, but you GOTTA start using the door dude..
I'm drinking on a Thursday because I can
Today is Wednesday you jobless drunk
So I love answering sex questions in intimate relationships class on a clicker when im sitting next to my cousin..
These freshmen are fun! The redhead wants to practice her blowjob skills with me and let me rate different moves!
Randomize
