you dont know how to answer ppls txts anymore?!?
im sorry, i don't get text messages.
We smoked a joint and talked about his parent's divorce. It was like being fifteen all over again.
The Masters... another excuse to excessivly start drinking by 1
either i blacked out mid-sex but remember the beginning and end, or he really only lasted a couple of minutes
Some one left their pants in the elevator.
Tonight will bring shame to my future grandchildren.
I have a kicked-out-of-multiple-bars level hangover today
Trevor is horny so he just called me to tell me all the things that he would like to do with his future wife. That's a new one.
Yeahhh, apparently my brothers think its ok not to check on me if a creeper is talking to me bc i "like those weirdo types"
Medically speaking as your gynecologist and your girlfriend, that is not a rash.
And we're breaking up
I immediately knew he was tripping, he came over with a grocery bag of snow balls and a bike helmet on and asked if I was prepared to die for my country.
Happiness is having a 12 hour day thinking that there are only 2 beers in the fridge when you get home, but then finding 8. Fuck you Monday, this week I won.
YOU SLEPT WITH A GUY WHO HAS A BILLBOARD IN HIS HONOR?
I've been in town for almost 36 hrs and I haven't made out with a stranger yet - I consider THAT a record!
Last night’s booty call turned into a cuddlefest. Get your game face on, we’re hunting dick tonight
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