i normally make it a rule to leave when white people start rapping... but they had blow.
omg theres cum all over the american flag and now its up in front of his house.
You only ask me to come over when your gf is gone, and thats usually at midnight to cook chicken salad and watch you pass out
I woke up with cheeseburger in my mouth and a deep sense of accomplishment.
So i do have strep. My apologies to the british guy from this weekend. You now have one more reason to hate america
I just want you to know that I hid the weed. Once you find another job, I'll tell you where it is. Happy Hunting, bro.
He stole a bottle of grenadine from the bar. And got arrested. His new cell mate is going to love his bright red lips.
I get hit on by the prison guards every time i go to see him. Seriously.
If I had pants on, you wouldn't be getting this text message
There is a video recording of my birth. I have seen it. It is terrifying.
I think his dick was bigger than his dog
Did I wash my face last night at your house? Where did my eyebrows go??
Nothing ruins an orgasm faster than accidentally calling out his boss's name
So then I got so stoned I sat and took my pulse for 10 minutes.
By the way, you're like fucking spiderman. I've never seen someone climb out of a car window that fast and eloquently.
Randomize
