the chick doesn't look like she's put anything in her mouth for weeks other than his dick.
Did yall have sex?
Well we both woke up naked and there was a condom wrapper on the floor, but I don't remember so does that count?
Def not... that's how I managed to keep my number under 10 for all of college- If you don't remember, it didn't happen
best thing about halloween? there are pumpkins to puke in EVERYWHERE!
how was your night?
well, i just purchased 'sorry for being a drunk whore' cupcakes. how do you think my night was?
After me and my boyfriend broke up I had to resist the temptation to send a mass text to my booty calls saying "thank you for your patience. it will be rewarded."
They were so loud I wrote them a sex critique and taped it to his door.
Anne I just took two ambiens. I think my body is melting into my blow up bed. Like a stick of butter just slowly melting. And I'm alright. Don't be afraid. I'll be alright.
i figure if i show enough tits, no one will notice my eyebrows.
It seems that only way I've actually improved myself after 2 years of writing for the school newspaper is that I've mastered the art of descriptive words to improve my sexting skills
Matt you can be anything you want to be. Including the awesome guy that brings pizza to a bunch of stoned and sorta drunk kids.
So we broke my sobriety. Played life size childhood games. Broke into a cold hot tub and got laid. I think this is BFF quality!
My parents heard us going at it in their tent. I told my mom it must have been a bear looking for food. I don't think she bought it. She deliberately chose this park because bears haven't been sighted here in years.
It feels like I was drinking gasoline last night.
I had my room mate call my phone after last night and it was in an uncooked quesadilla
ya I went to the grocery store literally just for cheese and condoms
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