Fell asleep in bio again. Sometimes i feel like college is just one really expensive nap.
Grape juice and vodka is NOT wine.
Oh and fyi, I've been drinking and about to do free weights. I'll late you know how this goes.
im proctoring the SATs right now and im still drunk from last night. i really wanna tell these kids that this fucking test doest mean shit and they will just be constantly drunk once in college.
she texted me out of nowhere. and I wanted to get drunk. like I didn't even have her new number until 6 hours ago and bam we were rolling around drinking cotton candy vodka from the bottle she had stuffed in a boot
i also took my stockings off in the bathroom and blew my nose with them in the cab ride home. james was appalled
I think ill wear my dads dashiki but make it sluttier. We shall see
im the best fifth wheel. all four of them separately bribed me to never speak of what happened last night
Whatcha doing tonight? Reply TURNUP if you are drinking, or STOP to cancel messages
I don't know. I'm drunk and dressed as a pirate but ill do the math tomorrow morning.
also. got fucked to usher last night. dunno if thats a new high or a new low
Was it at least a good usher song?
Dont ask questions just say words. where can i find plan b?
We got cut off at the bar, but it's okay because I tactically rolled behind the bar and grabbed a bottle of whiskey. Meet me in the back booth when you're done puking in the bathroom. This is about to get real slutty.
Like sorry your dick won’t suck itself?
So I guess I walked across campus with "pat my ass" in sharpie on my forehead.
You deserve it, you colossal cock block.
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