My friend's 9-year-old son just informed me that for a cop station, you can't use a shotgun; you have to use a machine gun. Thank you, Grand Theft Auto, for single-handedly corrupting our youth.
He did a double fist pump when he discovered the Magnums fit and skipped back towards the bed.
Consider it an appointment to improve my blow job capabilities.
We used a snorkel as a funnel. Can you say desperate?
Your cock has been in the back of my throat. Co-worker is no longer a sufficient title. Fix that shit ASAP
Who looks around on a bright, sunny day and says, "you know what? Today I'm going to write gay dinosaur erotica"
I'm just trying to win a butt plug dude
Wtf is this place? I don't see any alcohol and I feel like we were supposed to bring our own strippers.
wtf guys I thought we agreed on no more knives. So much for not destroying the house
Hey know anyone who wants 58 lbs of whole frozen chickens for a couple bowls?
Since when is my clitoris pierced?
He was trying to break into my apartment to get the coke he left last night, didn't engage parking break, so the van started rolling. yup, it's broken.
Think of the things uve done in the past. And ask urself "have I done worse?" If u answer yes. Its perfectly ok.
she has no right to get mad at us for drinking during the wedding. she's the one that chose the bridesmaid dresses with pockets.
Im too stoned for my mom to be picking up hitch hikers. Help.
Randomize
