I realized tonight the smell of my dirty pads remind me of my grandfather.
I dumped him because he's never seen star wars. I'm certain I did the right thing.
Eating hibachi. The chef is squirting sake into my mouth with a ketchup bottle. Happened twice, more to come.
You had sex with him even after he literally described himself as a "coldplay guy"? There's a line you just don't cross. There is a line.
If your dick isn't up when i get home you're catching tonight.
He just made me apologize because his morning wood is NOT a laughing matter.
she said she was living bicuriously through me.
I know you hold the fastest time for "zoo downhill wheelchair racing" but I don't see what that has to do with this.
Remember how he wouldn't sleep with me "out of respect"? Well, Mr. Respect just fingered me in a parking garage.
Well I can cross being naked in a minivan off the list
Packing for college has become a game of where did I hide my sex toys.
He fucked me so well and hard that the couch slid into the Christmas tree. I had to pull branches out of my hair.
Hi. Tara tells me your sandwiches and stamina are substantial
He wanted to save my dignity, I just wanted beads and jäger
Dude you were so wasted you thought a fake electric candle was real and tried to light your cig with it. Multiple times.
Randomize
