i dont care that its taken 20 hrs to pee without hurting, BEST HATE SEX EVER.
I had to throw up. it was the only way to avoid kissing her after she swallowed..
At some point last night was I riding a garbage can.. Things are starting to come back to me
I would ask why there is a chair tied to the door of the fridge.. but I am not sure anyone knows the answer.
I'll offer my penis as collateral. You can hold title to it till I pay you back.
The last time I saw you, you were rolling around on the ground at the bar.....
.....well it was bound to be an interesting night since I was chasing my pulls with pulls....
Im at that shitty point in my day where I start planning night activities while finger dipping vyvance off of my desk, you got any plans?
Today in French class my teacher was singing "what does the fox say" so i started answering in similar satanic ritual noises
she stole my Timberlands and my Sublime shirt and left her heels and bra. this is war
I got high and had sex with reindeer antlers on. It was magical and animalistic. Tia the season.
I couldn't find the oven mitts so I used a thick stack of tortillas
Alcohol won't break your heart. I mean, unless it's all gone maybe
This guy knew what he was doing. Most guys can't find the spot even if it shot off a flare and played a kazoo.
His name was Dragon. For real. How do you not sleep with a Dragon? Don't judge me.
he said he's going to burn things and pack his stuff. he may leave tomorrow supposedly but i doubt it
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