Pissing in la rieve gfox. Jer zsyuis diu drunk but it felt amazunbg
Dans le librearie ivetre. Hjhaha
we just finished a porn and sex toy shopping spree. this is the fun part of "being serious"
Doing blow at 6am to "wake myself up for clinicals" was a baaaaad idea
Sorry we couldn't "turn off the mirrors." How're you feeling today?
I found someone's tooth on the stairs when I was vacuuming, and my sister found a catheter in the men's bathroom... this cleaning job is dangerous
When my parents ask if I met any nice guys in California, I'm going to answer, "No, but I have gone home with alot of nice girls". Too much, too soon?
He showed up at my house, drunk, proclaiming that he needed to fuck me...my dad let him in
Hey, it's not my fault that you had a shitty bed frame that couldn't handle the rough sex you're into.
Would it be totally wrong, that in honor of princess leias death, I role played as her??
I'm bringing pajamas, aspirin, morning after clothes and morning after pill
Heading there now. Already have a boner.
Btw, how did you break into my room, and why did you decide that covering the mushrooms with a blanket was more secure than a lock on my door?
i look like i'm walk-of-shaming but i'm really showered and re-clothed and rallying. i fool everyone
Anything special planned for Valentines Day?
Does testing the strength of my coworker’s marriage count?
Of course he’s picking me up at the airport. I taught him the Lotus position last time we had sex.
Randomize
