the recession has oofficially hit my standards.
So it turns out the white chocolate in the bathroom is actually soap
Just TALKING to him is better than banging my bf, imagine what actual banging will be like.
After all you put him through, I think it was only right that you saluted the bartender when you left.
How do you say "I'm not pregnant in Spanish?"
We decided to play beer pong where the loser had to beer bong a pitcher of beer...people just started losing on purpose. It was a bad idea.
What can I say, your life is charmed. I'm on the couch trying to decide whether or not to puke again.
Those were the days I had no morals... Dark times.
Shall we take a trip back?
This is love.
Which part? The alcoholic cupcakes or the lesbian st paddys day party?
he was extremely fucked up- he thought my sports bra was his boxers. even when his leg wouldnt fit. at least whiskey dick wasnt a problem
I just had a mental image of us riding a tractor through hell with one of those big guns mounted on top of it shooting at everyone while the indiana jones music plays.
I told you you to bring something to share....you brought tequila and a condom
The guy in the cage next to me is having phone sex. His girlfriend is in College Library. Why is my life ridiculous.
He was about to go in...and he fell off the bed. Ruined mood!
If I say I hate myself for it does it make it any better?
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