Dude I just witnessed a midget touching himself and singing the chorus to somebodys watching me by michael jackson... it kinda turned me on
Well if yoir are still awake and secided to drink... You may aswell drink
That text needs to switch to water.
I have a deodorant stick dedicated to my balls.
dude, she masturbates with a ken doll.
through my window right now you can see the hot chick next door is standing BUTT ASS NAKED eating peanut butter off a knife.
ill be there in 5.
Ya I fucked her.. But now Melissa is gonna find out
Just tell her that in a man's never ending war between his heart and his dick... His heart never wins
It's just a condom. Most people would commend me for saying I was going to start using them, and you're acting like I'm going to try heroin.
Let's just cut to the chase. I'm not interested in anything romantic but I aAM interested in Tom Petty and maybe getting high and fucking you again for old times sake.
His apology was sex and a subway sandwich. Strangely, I'm okay with that.
I don't really know how to explain this place...it's like I feel like I need an std just to fit in
Regardless of the amount of alcohol you may consume tonight - DON'T take anybody home
he just hooked up with some chick in a bedroom upstairs so I just went to sleep in the pantry closet...
you know she was a bad idea when your mom offers to pay for an eHarmony account
Where the fuck are you? I just got punched in the nose by a tourist
I have tasted many bathrooms
You can tell by the way he cuddles that he's got mommy issues
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