youve choked your chicken with your arm asleep and acted like it was some1 else right?
I think taking a nice shit is a lot more satisfying than an orgasm. This is probably why I'm single.
I think the imperative here is that I literally knocked down a sorority house with the force of my dick.
i want to get drunk and sing the national anthem on your roof again please.
we made it to hole 3 and then just sat down on the fairway and finished off our case....cheered on other golfers as we let them play through.
By the power invested in me, I now pronounce your taco to be meaty. Meaty taco meaty taco meaty meaty meaty taco.
I was just told that i'm a premature cuddler. . . What does that even mean?
Whatever it is you failed
Yea no bueno and I only brought enough weed to last one night. And it was no Hanukah nug, it didn't last 8 days.
Idk dude but he said something bout his "dick was gonna be so tan" then he jus jumped out of the car
When confronted with a choice of going home or fucking the band ALWAYS FUCK THE BAND!!
I shit myself when I came, don't have flu sex
You're his holy grail. The moment he finally gets you to orgasm he'll probably just retire and become a monk.
TRY TO UNDERSTAND I HAVE MAGIC POWERS HOLY FUCKING SHIT
It was a bad idea to take ecstasy with cats in the house. No animal likes being touched that much. Let me know how your eye feels tomorrow
i just sneezed the second i jizzed and it got in my eye. words can't describe how much i hate life right now.
Randomize
