My boobs aren't big enough for this kind of lifestyle
You called information & said "connect me to johnny depp" when they told u it wasn't listed u said " try depp comma johnny he's expecting my call"
writing the newer testament. It's the 3rd for the series. I'll update u the rule changes later.
I developed a drinking game for WoW. Everytime I die, I take a shot.
Please get laid.
They pulled him over whille he had a fish tank full of beer in his front seat. He told them it coudn't count as an open container cause the top was on it.
On the bright side I still get a $20 referral bonus at the plasma center even though he passed out during donation because he was so high.
Well then. It seems like we have a Mexican standoff of genitals
I still can't believe he turned down that threesome with us in central park. He must be really committed.
Reached a new low. Drinking Wine from my thermos while on the stair master.
no you're not allowed back
come on. everbeers was a great idea. you fucks had a great night
Everything was cool until I tried to photo bomb those Hells Angels, then it's all a blank
I feel like im becoming the girl who only drunk texts him. I would be in the dog house, if situations like this had dog houses.
My neck is PURPLE. This is NOT a good day to be indoctrinated by the cardinal...
You cannot tell me you don't have a problem while crying pantsless on a stranger's sofa bed.
I have two bottles of emergency tequila stashed under my desk at work.
Randomize
