Highlight of my evening, pile of books falling onto me in front of people
I just woke up wearing retainers... they are most definitely not mine
no dont talk to me..because of you my bar tab was more expensive than my hospital bill
i have rugburns grass stains and some road rash. im an all terrain slut
i think i made a good impression on his friends wen i survived 55 cup beer pong
Adderal just makes me love life. I want to do so much. I just can't stop thinking about all the wonderful opportunities we have and how lucky we are and I want to make a difference in the world. I just have to reign in my brain and convince it that changing the world starts with a college degree, which depends on studying for these finals.
we were sitting on his couch watching tv and laughing at how funny the voices on the commercial were, then we realized the volume wasn't on.
It's great when the cashier at the liquor store asks "weren't you wearing those clothes yesterday"
I am expending an amazing amount of energy to not throw up right now
I found a phone book at the party and started calling everyone with my last name asking if they wanted to form a club. I'm meeting one for brunch tomorrow...
Lets get coked out and steal a parrot this summer
God gave me a talent besides one night stands. I feel like I should use it
you threw me on the ground pryed my purse out of my hands screaming " I JUST WANNA HOLD IT A LITTLE BIT". later i found you putting on my lip gloss.
You fell asleep on the toilet and he was like uh should I take her off?
We had sex on the bear rug. He said "you, me and the bear. This is bear-idise"
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