That glade motion activator thing keeps going off every time we pass the bong. I don't know what I'm getting high off right now.
At least we kept it together. It's people like him who yell at bushes that give acid a bad name
Ok that kid was ether gay or 12 with a beard.
Was that your vagina? Received a text pic from a number I didn't recognize. Shaved, so no hair color cues. But it looked like your lips.
If I get there and all he has for my big valentines surprise is his body, I'm dumping his ass and posting his dirty pictures on a porn site so people can laugh at him.
I fill condoms, not promises.
Eh. Fuck him. He's missing out. I'm legit naked and drinking straight from the bottle of wine.
If I stopped drinking I'd have to take up murdering.
I smell like playdoh, sex, and ruined lives. I love the weekend
Just so you know. And I'm telling you this because I care deeply for you. Blue raspberry poptarts taste exactly the same as the regular raspberry ones.
I had to fake it. He was punching my vagina like it owed him money and enough was enough.
You left your Xanax bottle in my car. Why is the label all smudged?
I spilled wine on it.
I should buy myself lingerie for Valentine’s Day instead of a present for you because I am the present
I don't think you could pull off being mean.
How do you think I'm still single?
The fact he has had a girlfriend for 5 years and they are trying to work it out isn’t going to stop me from sleeping with him. He said it himself you can’t cheat on someone you love...
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