afterwards we were spooning and he said he wished he was a kangaroo so he cold put me in his pouch and keep me forever. I left as soon as he was asleep.
At dinner I grabbed his hand and he screamed "mom she just grabbed my penis" the proceeded to shove my hand down his pants! Hello Mr.Dick!
My professor complimented me on the well drawn penis on my face then asked if I would like a seat closer to the garbage can.
I will always remember today as the day I narrowly escaped having to touch a tiny penis
Someone just told me I have an ass that could kill small children .... Don't know how to take that one
Double vision is so hot when a big dick is in sight. Thank you Bud Light.
The penis is a tricky weapon to use. When using it as leverage you have to make it seem emotional. I'd rather use it as a club sometimes.
He's just so adorable. And I don't want to fuck someone who's adorable.
maybe her throwing up on me was a foreshadowing of how she would later metaphorically throw up on my life
I don't know, but I assume drunk me had her reasons. I trust her judgement.
Do you congratulate someone for having bigger tits, or is that a no no?
No like he has curves. I remember thinking he had a nicer body than me
I just tried to get a motorcycle cop to give me a ride....he told me not to ask strangers for rides
As a paramedic, it's completely unacceptable to black out on a monday. I cant handle 3 dollar shot night.
I regret nothing
Not even Married Dan?
I regret one thing
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