Yeah, i think she was German or something.
No dude, she's just got a speech impediment.
i wrote down the address for planned parenthood on the back of the receipt for the condom that broke
i've hooked up with him and three of his roommates and not a single one of them knows about it..think its safe to say i found the silver lining in a boys inability to communicate
Vodka @ 9pm. Library. Nothing can go wrong, I promise.
The camera shows a viking with a white mask, a creepy green guy, a gorilla, and a pumpkin throwing eggs and laundry detergent in his yard
OHHH and there was a Batman too.
Is it a good time to tell him he's getting too clingy if he sent me a picture of my name spelled with Cheerios?
I love how you sexted me before you told me happy birthday. Thank you.
The last thing I remember is singing hotel California with a hobo and asking every bald man I saw if I could touch his head.
I miss you, too. It's hard to sleep without anything licking my head.
Below this exterior of ice is a layer of cum. Followed by a pool of gin. More cum. Then, finally a heart.
I totally just pulled my thong out of my purse at the grocery store. Oops.
Beer and xanax may be a bad combo, but I don't really care due to the beer and the xanax.
He came back with a Butterfinger and vibrator batteries. There's no refusing him now.
We broke my graduation cords last night when we used them to tie each other up during sex last night
Think I was still drunk when I woke up cause I went and bought a mandolin
Randomize
