Why are you at a bar in Connecticut?
Long story. One that now involves lots of delicious chicken wings om nom nom
So after THIS dui, I've decided to stop driving. Not drinking, just quit driving.
You drank the expired grape juice because you were convinced it had fermented into wine...you have a problem.
My new sobriety test is "how many times do I have to attempt to put toothpaste on my brush"... It takes a while.
No. one of us needs a degree and I am already the alcoholic friend. I can't do everything
I'll be accepting presents in the forms of drinks, drugs, and orgasms. So any or all of those will be fine.
No, my body just knows its the weekend and wants to rage. Very different from alcoholism
He referred to his cock as "The cock" like it was third party or something.
We used the solo cup bag for her hair tie. Desperate times call for desperate measures.
We laughed. We cried. We came everywhere.
I just need to drink whiskey get off and eat some cheese. Why is that so fucking hard for god to deliver.
Although now I have "number of cheese slices" as a unit of boob measurement in my head.
Oh goddamn. That a super downer Tuesday reality right there. Just hit me with the cold, hard, nasty facts.
Nothing says you made great Saturday night choices like someone's dick that you don't remember, poking you in the ass Sunday morning.
I think this Canadian beach volleyball player might be my soulmate. We could check each other's shoulders for melanoma.
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