I had a good time, probably would have a bigger headache today if you were in town.
I bet they all look and smell like Amy Winehouse
Last night i was gna tell u about how i was watching project runway & how i was upset bc they replaced tim gunn & heidi klum. but then i realized that i was watching mythbusters.
True life - we need to smoke together more often
she's basically destroyed all of the faith i had that skinny blond girls could be a functioning part of society.
Waitress cut us off at Chili's bar. New low
I had a party to get rid of booze. Woke up with even more. Will do this till I can open a liquor store
I left a cheeto on everyone's car trailing to the house i'm at, hanzel and gretel style.
Good ideas don't start with we have a bottle of vodka..
Once he past out I measured his penis with my remote.
i took my sailor hat off and used it as a vom bucket
No. I want to vom filet mignon and ziti bits everywhere and my body feels like I ran a cock triathalon. I feel less triumphant and more like death.
I seriously just caught my Pina colada from falling of a table perfectly facing up. I will now reward myself by finishing this one and then getting my 8th
I guess I look like the kind of girl who would buy edible, weed-infused lube.
It was a good dick. I give credit where credit is due. A good dick deserves praise.
Next time I say "i forgot to eat dinner, oh well" before drinking STRAP ME TO A CHAIR AND FORCE FEED ME BEFORE ALLOWING ME TO CONSUME BOOZE
Randomize
