i just googled "what is oprah really like?" how do YOU think my night is going?
rubbing her clit was like playing thumb war
I don't have the money to get a cast so we made one from stuff at the craft store.
I woke up naked this morning there was a baseball bat on the floor the bathroom door knob was removed and the floor was wet. This is why i don't do Tequila shots.
I consented to having my finger branded. How was your night?
She found my old SD card with stuff I "didn't keep" or "didn't record us doing".... She's pissed but really horny. Did I just win at sex?
I ran into him drunk, barefoot, at rite aid and he said I looked "stunning." Yeah, Stunningly shitfaced haha
Maybe if I get to know him I'll stop wanting to fuck his wife so much.
Something tells me your "Titties for Tracy Morgan" fundraiser won't pan out.
I need to see you idiots before I go back to school. But we shouldn't snort Crown Royal this time.
It doesn't count as "finding the lesbian" if you fuck a straight girl!
He's my favorite late night booty call. He lives next to a Wendy's.
We both knew it was over when I took a u turn at her belly button.
Pinterest knows I’m getting divorced
yes we're having sex but I'm texting you...so what does that tell you?
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