What are you doing tonight?
Watching dora the explorer and pining for a sex life.
soooo.. i guess the cop said he'd drop the charges if i go to some AA meetings and i said fuck AA. not one of my better choices.
LETS GO REDSKINS!
Quit drinking and watching your DVR, it's wednesday.
i wish there was a photo editing effect that fully opened my drunk eyes
Instead of centeral air we are getting a margaritaville machine. Thought you would enjoy our logic
I'd like to say he was whispering sweet nothings into my ear all night but really he was just whispering "pussyyy"
It felt like getting blasted with a supersoaker filled with vagina juice.
Her boyfriend was hitting on other girls while drunk. But, she said she was okay with it because she is a feminist and she supports all women's decisions.
If I don't at least start a parade that spirals into drunken riots then I'm calling it a fail of a birthday
The only responsible thing ive done in vegas is shower and that was onky to clean vomit off me
Faces of meth called, they want their look back.
I traded him cumming in my face for a year for a Disney annual pass. One giant leap back for feminism, one small step for the adult child Disney fan.
And I made some girl take out the trash, load and unload the dishwasher, swifter, and clean the counters. So don't act like I don't do anything.
I did coke with the Royal Navy last night. God save the queen.
The people above me are fucking to Miley Cyrus
Randomize
