dont worry your back hair reminds me of angel wings
O.A.R does not stand for Old Recycled Abortions.
They nicknamed me the gargoyle. Sex with me is getting gargoyled. The last one I fucked yelled "gargoyle me" for dirty talk. I think fucking me is part of their pledging initiation. Somewhat OK with this.
She is just riding on my slutty coat tails.
I guess at this point I should stop judging guys on their looks and more on their major and trust fund. Growing up sucks.
she texted me out of nowhere. and I wanted to get drunk. like I didn't even have her new number until 6 hours ago and bam we were rolling around drinking cotton candy vodka from the bottle she had stuffed in a boot
I didnt say frisky time, just alone time, to chat, or watch a show, or stare into one anothers eyes, or souls, or asses, whatever you straight people do
sending him nudies in gran's hospital bathroom. you?
Trying to find a card for this engagement party. Can't find one that says "you met each other 5 months ago, cant wait to get the popcorn out and watch this one fall apart"
This doesn't mean I'm going to attempt to find happiness with smooshy dick
The original plan involved fireworks and a lot more dildos but the new one is still okay.
You sending me our unborn, unfertilized babies' names is not what I envisioned when you said you'd "drunk text me later".
My boobs weigh the same amount as 25 pancakes
did i tell you guys i finally 69’d for the first time last night? just thought the group chat should know.
Just because I'm asexual doesn't mean I can't have a revenge fuck.
Randomize
